Absolute Future

Currently listening to: "Sleep With One Eye Open" - Bring Me the Horizon

We had one of those "best friends" moments last night. I don't have the actual conversation logged since I'm at school, but it went somewhat along these lines:

Allie: wow i hate you
Me: what?
Allie: "brandon i love you"
Allie: you: "k"
Allie: and you wonder why people hate you
Me: dude i don't know
Me: i'm kinda confused right now
Allie: whatever
Me: so i guess everybody hates me?
Allie: well your a dick
Allie: but i still love you
Me: yeah right
Allie: well not in that way
Allie: but i can tell u anything
Allie: because you listen
Allie: and unlike _____, you know when to back off
Allie: that's why i trust you
Allie: cause i love you
Me: seriously?
Allie: as a friend
Allie: yeah lol
Me: damn
Me: i didn't know you'd feel the same way
Me: cause like, my 2 best friends live far away
Me: and i don't get to talk to them much
Me: so i always turn to you and shit
Me: because you always seem to know a good solution
Me: and even though you've done some things i didn't like
Me: you're definetely one of my better friends
Allie: awwww
Allie: =]
Me: it's what friends do
Me: they go through shit
Me: they fight
Me: they start drama
Me: but in the end, they only get stronger
Me: and even though i might be biased cause i used to obsess over you
Me: and cause of what we did that one night
Me: i love you either way
Allie: but you're still a jerk
Me: think of it as a brother-sister relationship
Me: we're complete assholes to each other
Me: but we're still cool
Allie: lol k =]

That wasn't exactly it, but it's mostly what I remember.

It was one of those conversations where you think it's about to rear its ugly head, but instead it turns out to be a reassuring, point-making one. Allie and I have never been steady friends, because of a lot of the drama that catches up to us. We've been through the initial phase where I was obsessed with her for all of last year, we've been through the Brannon/Lexxy phase, the Keelin/Sarah/Elise/Tyler shitstorm, me hooking her up with Zach, and now the Ana/Ben drama. We've both lied through each other's teeth lots of times, and sometimes I hated her more than anything in the world. I've gone out of my way so many times for her, I've spent so much money on her lunches, and gave her chances with girls I knew. But after realizing what we've gone through, I realized she's definately one of my best friends, without a doubt.

I love you, Allie! (Like a sister, of course)

I caught myself listening to Mayday Parade yesterday. The worst part is that I actually liked it. Hanging around with Zach and Cameron so much has made me pretty much all but forget about all the alternative and pop punk I used to love so much. Since I'm making an attempt at being friends with Ana now that she's transferring here, I asked her for some music, and she only said "Mayday Parade." I gave them a shot, and I'll completely admit that I'm not reluctant to listen to stuff like that anymore.

And I've also become really big on two genres lately: symphonic metal and acoustic. Symphonic metal is something that I had never really checked out until recently, but after listening to a bunch of Rhapsody last night, I completely approve. Acoustic music has always been my soft spot, but after downloading some acoustic albums, I realized how much I really like it. Since I was about 9, I've always wanted to be a solo acoustic artist, but I've always been afraid of singing with my full voice. I sang some Secondhand Serenade to her last night, and she seemed to approve. I found my "head voice", too. It's the theory that if you attempt to hit a note that's seemingly out of your range, you'll be able to hit it. I finally got the one note I never thought I could in the interlude, and now I know that I'm not really all that bad at singing. Also, I'm a huge sucker for mushy love songs, and Secondhand Serenade means a lot to me, because it was all I was listening to at a really hard time in my life.

Currently listening to: "Football Season Is Over" - Bring Me the Horizon

I wrote Laurel a note in second period. I gave it to her during that stupid fire drill. It wasn't done, and I just realized it said some things that I should've kept to myself. My fantasies belong in MY head, not on paper. On the other hand, it also said some things that I really wanted to say in person, but I couldn't bring myself to. Either way, we're in no rush. I don't think this will end anytime soon <3