Absolute Future

You look so good in blueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Song is so much better acoustically than it is on FOTCT, and don't prove me wrong.



Song - "Bearing the Serpent's Lamb"
Artist - Job For a Cowboy
Album - Pre-Production Demo (2006)


Lately all I've been listening to is acoustic music. Scene Aesthetic, Spill Canvas, b-sides by big bands like AFI and LoveHateHero and whatnot. I have a newfound HORRIBLE need to attempt playing acoustic, for reasons unknown. I've gotten a lot better at bass than I was about a month ago, because now all I do is take resin hits from my friend's bong and learn Job For a Cowboy songs. Knee Deep took me about an entire week, due to the first-string-then-quickly-go-9-11-12-14-15-16-17-19-on-the-really-gay-third-string riff at the beginning, which comes back 3 different times variated in the other riffs. The breakdowns alone took me about 5 days, since the bass parts generally echo the guitar. Now that I think about it, their bassist is most likely inhumane, and he even plays without a pick sometimes.


I think I'm going to write off Ana's blog a bit, off that one post that basically said, in short, "People that pretend to be friends with me are really gay." I couldn't agree more, and since I don't know if I've already written a blog about fake people, I might write another one. On another note, I doubt I'll finish typing this in Website Development, so I guess I'll finish it in LAN Management. Stupid Mr. Breese and his need to teach us stupid obsolete Fireworks. I already know this shit, I shouldn't be here, FUCKLIFE09, etc.


But this year, I finally got the smarts to realize just how many people really hate me, and I've (for the most part) figured out exactly why. And I'm sure I'm right. These are the reasons that people hate me, from what I've gathered so far. I won't throw out names (HOPEFULLY), cause that'd start wars over the keyboard.


Supposedly:

• I'm an obnoxious little bitch.
• I don't know when to shut up.
• I've clearly got split personalities.
• I act differently around different crowds of people.
• I'm a horrible boyfriend.
• I smoke, therefore I'm disgustingly repulsive.
• I'm a myspace whore. Which automatically makes me a stupid scene kid.
• I'm a poser, I can't actually listen to that awful death metal. I just do it to look cool.
• I'm a burnout, all I do is smoke weed and I don't give a fuck about school.
• I'm horribly vain, and I care too much about popularity.
• I'm way too big of a flirt.
• I've been with every single girl I know, and I'm obviously STD-infested.

When I hear these things, I die laughing. It's funny that people assume things about me in the first place without getting to know me, but it's also funny that my reputation is seriously that bad. It's gotten so bad that Laurel gets shit from people neither of us even know for going out with me. It's sometimes hard for me to even make friends because my reputation will catch up to people before I even get there. Best part is, most of those things aren't even true. So here's the truth.


BASICALLY:

• Sure, I'm obnoxious. I can be at times, but I'm actually a really calm, deep thinker. Get to know me, the side most people don't think exists usually entertains most people.
• Usually when I have something to say, I won't say it. I'm really a man of few words deep down, and I only talk when I have a really burning need to make my thoughts known.
• Sure, I'll admit I have split personalities. Sometimes I won't say a word, and sometimes I'll run off a thousand words a minute without thinking about it. It all really relates to my mood at the time, if I'm hyper and forgot my meds, watch out.
• I don't really act different around different crowds. I'm always myself, and the only thing I generally hide from people is my sexuality, since most of my close friends from my neighborhood are extremely homophobic. I will deny the rumor that I'm bisexual.
• If you're taking the "boyfriend" thing off of Ana, you probably haven't heard the whole story. Sure, I did cheat on her, but there was a lot of buildup to that, and I really wasn't half the man I am today back then. I've changed. And if you haven't dated me, you probably can't judge.
• Yeah, I smoke. Cigarettes, a decent amount, and weed sometimes. I've been addicted to nicotine since I was probably about 8, because my grandparents smoked about 2 packs a day and I was constantly surrounded by a cloud of smoke.
• I whore because I get bored easily. And I like meeting people. No, I don't listen to myspacecore at all whatsoever. Most of my stuff is derived either from death metal, grindcore, or math rock.
• I'm not a fucking scene kid.
• Death metal is fucking amazing. It's easier to listen to if you play an instrument, because you can appreciate the difficulty of the music. But I do listen to stuff besides that.
• To be honest, I really don't go out of my way to smoke weed. I've never bought any in my entire life, and the only time I do smoke is when my friends offer me some.
• Sure, I'm self-conscious. Who honestly isn't?
• I really unintentionally flirt. I've been told I'm great with words, which serves me well when I'm single. But I'm really happily taken right now, so I guess it doesn't matter too much. That's why Anna (not my ex) hates me so much, she thinks I'm just a smooth-talker who only wants Laurel for sex. She's pretty much completely wrong.
• To set the record straight, I've only fucked 3 different people, total of 27 different times. 15/9/3. Not mentioning names, but I really don't get laid outside of relationships. It's not who I am to hook up with girls and fuck them the night I meet them, it's honestly not my style. I know it may seem like it, but it honestly isn't. I'm sorry if that's the impression I leave on you.

That's me, left right out in the open for anyone that was curious or didn't know me very well. My reputation's mostly been ruined by ex-girlfriends and judgemental assholes that have nothing better to do than gossip about people they barely know. I'm referring to someone in particular, and if I talk to you a lot, you may know who I mean. If it's you and you've realized it, I fucking hate you, you disgusting vain pig. I hope you die from malnutrition from your fucking vegetarian bullshit and cannibals eat the meat off your carcass. You're a self-centered bitch who just gossips about other people because you've got no real friends to actually talk to. You run around backstabbing people left and right, and you've honestly got to go, because you've befriended one of my closest friends and I know you'll just backstab her too eventually. You bitch about your life, how it's so horrible, when your parents make great money. You cry about getting fucking 89%'s on tests. You blog about how much drama you have with guys when I'm certain there isn't a guy in the world that would even give you a second glance. You change your haircolor every god damn month, and it just gets uglier every time. You always manage to be there when I hang with my friends, and someday, I'll rip you out in front of everyone, and it'll be the greatest moment of my life up to that point. You are the one person I can say I really truly hate, and even knowing that you're still alive and breathing disgusts me. Go fuck yourself, since no guy will ever fuck you.

I just realized the hair color thing might've given it away. Oh well, I don't think I'd give a damn if she read it, since she wouldn't actually do anything. I probably understated how much I hate her though. Bleh. I am raging horribly right now. But at least I finally got that out of my system.

I may be vain, but remember, if I am, you're probably the same god damn way.

FUCK, I just thought of Robert Vanity. God damn it, he disgruntles me.

KIMI IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND. HI KIMI.
You should listen to more Job For a Cowboy :D
And we should go malling sometime!

Bell's gonna ring, I'm out.